Reflective Parenting

Respond rather than react to your children

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I Don’t Want to Go to School, Mom!

Dear Parents,

Children in B.C. have been in school a week now.  School is children’s work, and there are several children who don’t like school for numerous reasons.  Some of those reasons include anxiety, boredom, routine (too much or too little)…  And some just don’t like school.  I was one of those kids.

How do you cope with a child who fights going to school? Here are some suggestions which may prove helpful.

  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings by giving empathy and showing compassion.
  • State that going to school is a natural part of growing up.  It is one in a series of adventures that life offers.
  • Check your own attitude about school.  If you are voicing negative comments about school or going to your own work-place, remember that kids “catch” your attitude!
  •  Accentuate the positives such as learning new skills, making new friends, and learning how to be more independent.
  • Encourage your child to focus on serving others and looking for ways to make school-life better.
  • Teach your children how to deal with anxiety by focusing on their breathing, visualizing e a pleasant scene, thinking of a calming song, hymn, rhyme, verse.
  • When your child grumbles about school, listen to their concerns calmly.  Then help your child turn the negative into a positive.  Every negative has a positive!
  • Don’t take your child’s complaints too seriously.  A complaint made to you on Wednesday will probably be forgotten the next day!
  • Help children understand that change has its hard and uncomfortable moments..  But  familiarity with the routine comes security, safety and confidence.
  • Make sure you hug your child before school, wish him well, put a loving note in his lunch-box and assure your child that doing his/her best is all that is expected.
  • Make sure that your child has whatever s/he needs to do well at school (nutritious food, proper clothes…)

Yes, school can be scary at any age, any grade.  The majority of children adapt well.  Some need more encouragement.  Your attitude is vitally important.  Be calm, be positive, be realistic and be solution-focused.  These qualities will go far in helping your children become resilient, independent and skilled socially, physically and academically!

Warm Wishes,